Haven't written in a while

I am making myself write this because I don't feel like doing it. Some might say, that's when you have the most to say. My thoughts are all jumbled. All I do on the pc is play games. I used to spend a lot of time doing other things on line. After all Facebook isn't the whole internet. So why do I spend so much time here?

I don't even keep up with my fb family like I should. I am stuck under my rock, can't even think for myself much less anybody else. This is the shameful truth. Now, not only have I boxed myself into a small house not wanting to come out. I have also boxed myself into a little corner of fb and can't see past the games.

Maybe I need to call my med nurse but do you know all she'll do is put up my pill dosage.. If I tell her I want to go to the partial hospital again she will say fine but then I have to add that I don't have a way up there and back. I've also boxed myself and my car into a limited place. Home, work, doctors I can get to. Otherwise I ask somebody (usually my daughter) to take me. I have put myself in a box and I don't know how to climb out.

Besides all my mental ignorance I did find out one thing about my lapband which helps me at night. A couple of nights I woke up with an awful pain in my gut. It felt like something was tunnelling it's way through my stomach and was having a very hard time getting through. Well it was all my fault. I have been getting away with murder picking at this and that and one of the things I was picking at was potato chips. Also I am not very good at remembering to chew everything that I eat very thoroughly before I swallow. Well my guess is that some chips that were not chewed right were getting stuck in the small section where the band was around my stomach. I waited it out because there was nothing I could do about it. Then I resolved not to eat any more potato chips, at least at night when they would give me trouble.

Back to the partial hospital, I feel that I could get more out of it if I could attend, because I went last summer and spent a lot of time feeling my way around, getting used to the way they did things. This  time I could spend more time on my problems. I said this last summer but I will repeat it here. At the partial hospital, you are made to focus on your own troubles, this is your time, and to put yourself first for once in your life. Many of us give little pieces of ourselves away every day until there is nothing left but an empty shell. This is the point I have gotten to. I know when I need help