I don't know if that extra little bit of Abilify is helping or not. Last week I thought it was, then I get a day like today when I literally ate my way through the whole day. The trick is not to start first thing in the am. DH went to Walmart to get groceries and I told him to get a certain type of cookie made in their bakery.
Anybody familiar with these will know what I am talking about straight away. They come in a plastic clamshell container. They are soft and white, not a trace of brown. The tops are thickly covered with soft, sweet icing (different colours for different seasons) and liberally topped with jimmies.
They are very soft, sicky sweet, and Max and DH couldn't eat them. I put away the rest (8 of them) over the course of the day.
People who don't crave sweet haven't a clue about the addiction and because they can refuse to eat any and mean it, we seem to refuse it because we know weight will be gained. But it calls our name and we end up eating the lot.
Something about these large, soft, white cookies with yellow icing and jimmies just seemed to appeal to me today. I have thought long and hard on this. Texture seems to be addictive as well as the taste. These things just seem to melt in your mouth, no chewing required.
I was never one for crunchy snacks, chips, peanuts etc. I mean I will eat them, but they are not my preference. Too much trouble to chew I guess. I am a lazy bitch.
I am the one who likes soft centred chocolates rather than the harder ones with nuts in. I like soft pastry items. Crunchy cookies are not my favourites either, but being a pig I will eat them if nothing else is around. Ice cream and pudding are also favourites.
I gained 90lbs when I had Amanda and no wonder I had pre-eclampsia at the end. The ex and I had nothing. We ate very cheap. Lots of Raman noodles, macaroni and instant pudding, white bread 4 for a dollar at the bakery discount place.
Tomorrow I must do better. I have to put all this behind me. I see my primary care physician tomorrow for refills on BP medicine but my left knee and leg are giving me lots of trouble.
Knees were not made to support all the weight and strain I put them through on the weekends. It's all my own fault. Those soft sickly-sweet cookies get me all the time
Monday, September 6, 2010
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
I should put the car keys away
I had another fender-bender this morning. In my own driveway. With my neighbour's boyfriend"s car. We were both leaving the parking lot and I thought he had gone. Once I heard the crunch I knew what had happened..again.
I don't know how to tell DH. Today wasn't a good day because he came home angry about some of his pills that he went to pick up, and they were not there. Always better to stay out of the way when he is angry, no sense adding fuel to the fire.
This is the third incident in as many months. In two cases I was backing up and just didn't see the other car until I made contact. My car being a big SUV never got any damage to talk about, but the other cars got bent fenders. Nothing serious, mind you, and back in the day these dents could be pulled out.
Now cars are made of plastic and you have to pay for 1/2 a car just to get a dent taken care of. I have had a spotless driver record and because we drove two paid-for old cars, the insurance was very low. Now, DH had to take out a loan to get his car a few months ago, this meant getting comprehensive insurance for his vehicle, mine was still liability.
So I am not looking forward to telling him about this mishap. Oh the cops came, I straightened out the insurance company, and the kid I hit would have the dent taken care of.
But now I am afraid to drive. I look upon the little fender-benders as an Awful Warning that Next Time It May Be Much Worse and I better heed the message.
I never go anywhere but work on the weekends and my appointments, so I should be able to get lifts. My daughter always said it was way too much car for me to handle but I loved being up high and having lots of car around me if I get in an accident.
Problem is, when I back up or out, I can't really see too well and I end up beating up the little cars while my car just gets a scratch on the bumper. I throw my hands up in the air
I don't know how to tell DH. Today wasn't a good day because he came home angry about some of his pills that he went to pick up, and they were not there. Always better to stay out of the way when he is angry, no sense adding fuel to the fire.
This is the third incident in as many months. In two cases I was backing up and just didn't see the other car until I made contact. My car being a big SUV never got any damage to talk about, but the other cars got bent fenders. Nothing serious, mind you, and back in the day these dents could be pulled out.
Now cars are made of plastic and you have to pay for 1/2 a car just to get a dent taken care of. I have had a spotless driver record and because we drove two paid-for old cars, the insurance was very low. Now, DH had to take out a loan to get his car a few months ago, this meant getting comprehensive insurance for his vehicle, mine was still liability.
So I am not looking forward to telling him about this mishap. Oh the cops came, I straightened out the insurance company, and the kid I hit would have the dent taken care of.
But now I am afraid to drive. I look upon the little fender-benders as an Awful Warning that Next Time It May Be Much Worse and I better heed the message.
I never go anywhere but work on the weekends and my appointments, so I should be able to get lifts. My daughter always said it was way too much car for me to handle but I loved being up high and having lots of car around me if I get in an accident.
Problem is, when I back up or out, I can't really see too well and I end up beating up the little cars while my car just gets a scratch on the bumper. I throw my hands up in the air
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