A JOURNEY TO MYSELF

I haven't updated this since BEFORE I went to Bermuda. Things are looking a little different to me now. I needed the blue skies and turquoise sea to set me straight, also to laugh all the time and live in the moment, not thinking about tomorrow. I always say I carry my loudness with me where ever I go. I know this because everybody says things are so quiet when I'm not there

I had a chance to take a good long look at myself between the laughter and the beach and decided that I choose health, long life and an identity of my own to exist. I am 55 and most definitely in the Crone stage of my life. I have a grown daughter and a grandson and have spent 50 years of my life in The School Of Hard Knocks. I have something to say. People can come to me with a problem and either I can answer (having been through the same thing myself) or make suggestions as to where they can find other answers.

I wear silver and rose quartz jewellery and that's enough. I want to pierce my nose again. I want to become a person, not somebody who has given up on myself and life.

To this end I have resumed listening to my hypnosis recordings, twice a day. Once to calm myself down for the day, and later on in the afternoon so I don't comfort-eat at night. I ride my recumbent bike 2x/day, 30 min each and I burn up about 300 cals/day. This might not seem like much but it's less I have to go around my huge mid-section.

I can't quite pinpoint the exact time that I went from just existing from day to day and changed over to wanting to make today and tomorrow as good as I can make them. It was sometime during our visit to the island where I was born and brought up, and seeing My Own People again.

Nothing like trying to find yourself after 50 years of age. Better now than never, I guess