Eating Sugar Sandwiches but there is a Light at the End of the Tunnel

I just ate two sugar sandwiches. When I do this I am LOW. My weight has been creeping up and up. I know what I am doing and it isn't benefiting me at all. Here I am supposed to be getting for Weight Loss Surgery and the dietician wants some weight off me, not the other way around. Just don't care. Everything is going by me and all I do is watch it go on down the road.

Maybe there is a light at the end of the tunnel and I can turn my life around again. Oh, I've tried everything, taken every pill, attended any number of therapy sessions rode my exercise bike and lost 40 lbs last year but half of it is back.

Yes I admit it I am an emotional eater but it has to be sorted out if the WLS is to work. The dietician last time told me that what's it gonna be like if they band my stomach and I keep picking? She then told me about a woman who lost 80lbs and ate it back by sneaking the wrong stuff in small amounts. This just defeats the purpose.

The light at the end of the tunnel is that on Tuesday I will be attending Partial Hospital at a Psychiatric hospital for a week. It is called partial because patients come and go. I will never be put in a Psychiatric hospital 24/7. Been there done that no one is locking me up anywhere.

The programme coordinator saw me on Thursday for my evaluation and assured me that it is not easy to get "locked up" any more, and that I am free to come and go, and that I was not "crazy"

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Here is a little of what was written on the pamphlet that was handed to me, so people can understand what it is all about:

"The Partial Hospital team consists of doctors, therapists, nurses, mental health workers, social workers and occupational and activity therapists.

Doctors meet with you daily. They evaluate and diagnose your condition and help guide your treatment. They can answer any questions and concerns that you have about your condition, your medicine and your treatment.

Staff members will be available to talk with you at any time during your treatment to provide support and personal assistance.

In addition, medical internists, neurologists and psychologists serve as consultants".

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My medicinal nurse figured this programme could help me and seeing as I had insurance there was no reason for me not to go. It is described as being like a whole year's therapy in one week.
I hope somebody up there can help me to gain self confidence, and the ability to stand on my feet and learn how to say "no" if I don't want to do what other people want me to do so I just feel used and very unhappy. We will see