"Are you safe? If nobody loves you remember I do"

These are the words spoken at the end of every day at the Partial hospital by Jim before our group goes home (or upstairs as the case may be)

Monday is my last day of a five day course given by the Partial Hospital of Butler, a private psychiatric hospital. My med nurse sent me there as I had insurance and it might hope me cope a little better with life.

Every morning a member of the staff (in my case I was in Jim's group) would ask us how we did, what our goals for the day were and basically rally us for the day's work.. The Partial Hospital is set up like a high school, with courses laid out on a schedule, and we go from place to place to learn. Some classes were Anxiety Management, Challenging Negative thinking, Managing Feelings. We also had Women's Group (the Men had their own group) where we felt more free to talk about things we were going through.

Without mentioning what was said the range of things I heard were enough to affect me that day and the next. It seemed like all the awful experiences shared, soaked up like a sponge and I was like a stunned person. The next day I went in I mentioned this at Goal Setting and thru the day I shrank back from anything that would affect me, which included a Grief and Loss class. I didn't want to be depressed any further so I sat out in the lounge with others and did craft work.

Later I found out that the Grief and Loss class wasn't about people passing away, or pets. You can grieve for the loss of a job, divorce or any other life-altering experience. Wish they had made that plain I would have attended.

The first day was a muddle as I got used to finding my way around, getting used to the routine and trying to understand what was being taught to me. I would say at any given time there were at least ten of us in my room, more like 20 people when I first went on Tuesday. I don't know how many people attended altogether but people came and went as their 5 days were up.

You get attached to members of your group and feel sad as they leave and go back to their regular lives. All of the staff were very good to me and I will miss them when I leave. We were being taken out of classes all the time to see our doctors, social workers and other one-on-one appointments.

I wish I could write this up properly but my head still isn't screwed on straight. For once it was all about me and how I felt, and not about others I had to deal with in day-to-day life and I was kept on point. As were all the others attending. Each and every person was there to learn how to deal with their particular issues, one-on-one and with a group.

At the End of The Day Check In, this was when my group, with Jim as the leader, would ask us how our day went, were our goals met and what our goals were for the night. One time I said I would ride my bike for 5 minutes, wash my heap of dishes and for fun I would watch my Britcoms.
He went around to each person and wrote things on his legal pad.

Before he dismissed us, he always said. "Are you safe? If nobody loves you remember I do."

As I said, Monday is my last day. I'm gonna miss the place and the people who helped me and the people who struggled along with their private demons as I did. I think I learned some things along the way. I needed to take some time for myself, recharge my batteries so to speak, and have a safe place to be just Linda, and work on useful skills for myself