I got up at 9:30. I hate that. Of course the alarm, my daughter and grandson in turn tried to get me out of bed but I slept on with my c-pap machine. The sheer inertia. This is past depression. This is just standing still with a brain that is completely white-washed. If this is what Abilify does I don't think I want to continue with this drug.
I need ambition and drive and ...lets face it...a pain-free ankle. That ankle with the chipped bone is really dragging me down and what is there to do about it. Dr Pohl and I agreed that all my excess weight was aggravating it. It was always there, just in the background and manageable.
It's hard to work like this. It is way to easy to sit on my ass like this and write useless drivel waiting for life to happen to me instead of the other way around.
Something will motivate me but the motivation won't come from within. The nurse is supposed to call me this week with my surgery date and then I can pull myself together and get the diet shakes and vitamins and wait for life to transform me instead of the other way around. I may lose weight. I may shed 100lbs over the next year and that would be a very great success. Weight-loss wise.
But what will I be left with? Better health and the same old mind? Or will the old me return with a better outlook on life?
So I wait here for life to deal with me and I take what's left. No fight left in me at all
sorry linda i have not been much help to any one.....i been in my littel world trying to get out with the back pain and deprision has not helped...have you ever tryed cymbalta?????glad you are geting the sergery it will be good for you
ReplyDeleteawww Jim I have noticed you are keeping to yourself and believe me I understand how that is. You have a lot to bear and medication isn't all it's cracked up to be. No I haven't tried Cymbalta, I think there is something in it that is for pain and won't get along with my other medication. Let's say we go shopping for some new minds that work hehehe xxx
ReplyDeleteps I forgot my pills today and just took them about an hour ago and I am hot and freezing cold. You delay those pills for a few hours and it's instant withdrawal symptoms. Don't worry about me I always bounce back. We help each other. Try not to worry too much but if you are like me, that's all you do