I saw the hypnosis guy today

Once a month I go for a hypnosis session with the Hypnosis Guy, the same one I mentioned earlier. I think I have finally come into the home stretch when it comes to my SAD depression, and just need to knit things together. He was able to sew everything up, especially about not eating after 6pm. It's now 6:04 and I don't want anything to eat, especially those sweets that get me into trouble the worst.

I feel like this is the best year in a long, long while that I got through a winter without coming out fatter than when fall started. I started last summer at 283, and reached my lowest, 243, before I went into hibernation. I would say I have gained little over 10lbs but that is still coming out of it way ahead. I told the Hypnosis Guy that I was gonna go along with the lap-band surgery, and that I pictured it like a three-legged stool. I have the recorded sessions to listen to everyday. Exercise is the second leg. And the surgery will round things out *well that's how I'm planning it anyway*

I am so sick of being fat. I have no clothes, but who wants to go to Wal-mart looking for 3x or going to Catherine's for the really fat people clothes. All the really nice things are size 14 at the largest. Sometimes I send away to Woman Within and get some of their casual things but if I had to attend a wake or some social gathering I have nothing suitable. I have a nice handbag and my silver jewellery but no dress pants with a nice top, much less a skirt and stockings!!!

The only shoes I have are slippers and my big old New Balances and some summer shoes that I can't wear now. You know, most heavy women like me don't bother much about clothes. If it covers, it will do, isn't that awful.

I'm really looking forward to cute shoes. I used to wear heels, never anything flat. But at this size I am afraid of losing my balance and falling...so it's sneakers for me,lol