A Good Whine...

...And don't anybody offer me any cheese with that. I think everybody has the right to complain about the things That Will Not Change. My main thing is money and maybe yours is too. Without telling you my whole life story I will say that my husband uses money as a method of control over people, especially me.

I need a lot of medication, and make a lot of doctor visits, all necessary. For example now that my stomach has been banded, I have to see the Weight Loss Surgeon and Dietition on a regular basis. Then there's the management of my bipolar disorder, which because I am doing well keeping it all together, I don't have to live in that office. But that leads to my pet peeve today. I can't afford my Abilify. I have insurance now remember. Never mind that they want $70 as a co-pay. I have asked my medical nurse to fix me up with something I can afford until I can do better.

Then there's my glasses, near $400 more is needed, and if I don't pay my phone bill by the 15th  my cell-phone ain't gonna work. And on and on and on.

DH seems to think I have plenty of money and he needs more help with the bills. He cries poverty but I know he has savings. I never knew what he made in his pay-cheque because we handle our own accounts. I am mad because he bitched me out about the heat bill. Well hello it's cold. Again only a small example of what I have to listen to.

So tonight I slammed the remote down on the counter and said that what sense was it to live because I had no money to live with and I can't cope any more. I KNOW he has money. He is the reason why I can't get any help with my living and medical expenses.

People think that just because you are married, that you are doing OK and you can get your money from your husband. Like I said we each manage our own money (but he always wants to know where mine goes).

Granted he is paying all the bills because I can't afford to help him much. Once Medicare and Blue Cross take their $250 and he takes $200 I am not left with much, all I basically have is 10 hours of work pay which I stretch. I don't ask for much, I don't have anything and don't own or ever owned any new furniture or nice things for the house.

OK I've had my whine and feel a little better. Maybe you can pass me some cheese after all. Make it some interesting foreign cheese, some pepperoni and Ritz while you are about it