All depressed people who read this will nod their heads in agreement, while the lucky ones without depression hanging over their heads probably won't understand.
I just took a shower and washed my hair. Big deal, some might say. Plus I brushed my teeth. Because I suffer from bipolar disorder (the depressed end) there are some things I just don't want to do, or the wherewithal to do necessary things just evades me. In fact, one of the things doctors look for in a patient with depression is how they are dressed, and what state of cleanliness their body is in and if they cared enough to try.
It seems strange to want to write about a subject which is disgusting...what is worse than a person who has sat around in their same clothes for 3 days? At my worst I have been there. The biggest issue is getting out of bed, and once out, you just sit around. In my case I spend the day online, watching TV and eating junk food. I don't care what I look like, what the junk food is doing to my body and even if I smell or not. Very disgusting I know but I promised to talk about even the ugly stuff here.
You just can't physically or mentally take care of yourself when you feel this way. I said go on line and watch TV. It's more like facing the keyboard and maybe picking at an online game. The TV is background noise. Usually when I get this way I get on the phone and cry to my med nurse, who has me come in and puts my medication up, or changes it around.
Somehow even though very depressed, it occurs to me that they could haul my ass off to Butler and look after me. I wouldn't have to do anything. They would even get me out of bed and shower me and place my meals in front of me.
But I have always had a little spark left even in the deepest depression. I know my mood will change in time. I work in a nursing home. I see people being made to do things because it is convenient for the daily running of the ward. In fact I have been there, 30+ years ago when I was off the wall in a manic state. They haul you out of bed, a nurse on either side. You have to eat when they say. You have to shower when they say or they haul you in the shower by force and wash you themselves because it has to be done.
That to me would be the absolute bottom and I never want to have to sink that low again as long as I live. So now you see why depressed people eventually find enough mental strength to do their personal care...and why it is such a big feat that I found it necessary to announce it in a weight-loss blog
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