More Tired and Vague than ever

I don't know if this little bit of extra pill along with my other pills is supposed to make a difference but if it has, it is a step backward. I am sleepy and feel very vague. I know there are things I have to do, such as check to see if I have any appointments and look and see who I owe money to (not that they will get it, but I should be interested enough to know who is after the few pesos that I might have).

Nothing really matters. I never did want to go out but now I have to worry if I will fall asleep at the wheel long enough to hit somebody. I always put on my seat belt just in case anyway. This is not a good thing but I wish I could pay for somebody else to run my life until I struggle out of this hole I am in.

Thank God I am not a social person or have public obligations to follow through with. The person whose services I would like to afford to run my life would just have to call up everybody and say Linda ain't gonna be there, or do this or that, or even show up to answer my front door. Maybe I have to wait a little longer and give this additional medicine to work, I don't know.

There's one strange thing though. For some reason I am getting on my bike and riding it for 1/2 hour. Yesterday I did this twice. It is useless because while I start every day with good intentions about eating less food, it all seems to fall apart after 12 noon. I don't know why I do this. Most of the time I feel sick to my stomach and wish I never saw whatever it was I ate at all.

Small example last night why was I driven to eat not one, but 2 hamburger buns with jam before going to sleep. Mind you the jam was low calories but that isn't the point. I felt sick after I ate them.

I think I will take my am meds and get on my bike. If I fall asleep and end up on the floor at least I tried