Tonight I had my first situation since surgery that the door to emotional eating was closed for me. My grandson really tried my patience and my one nerve and usually I solve this problem by eating. There is plenty of food around but I knew I couldn't get around feeling old, ineffective and a "bad gramma who needs to be in jail" and just feeling plain old used up by eating any.
I faced it without the food but I never realised that I had done so until the problem worked itself out and Max apologised to me all on his own. This is big for him, he has autism and while brilliant in school, can throw very bad tantrums and be very abusive when the mood takes him. But the very fact that he said "I am sorry" was a step forward. However, the emotional cost to me is enough to drive me into the kitchen to find whatever I can find sweet to shove the feelings down. This is how I dealt with all problems, Max is just a good example.
I didn't eat because I didn't want to feel sick. I had eaten my first "solid" food earlier (some very soft scrambled eggs) for a week. Later on I had gas, both ends, for a good hour or so. Guess my guts were mad at me for not feeding them properly and they were getting their own back. I guess I will have to introduce the foods very slowly as the Doctor told me to do.
This is gonna be a long road folks with problems and lessons all along the way when it comes to food. Maybe I should eat my small portion of turkey and sweet potato casserole separately instead of both together tomorrow
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