The sun is out, and the roads are clear so why am I not happy? I wanted the sunshine so I have it. It may be freezing cold but still the sun is out and the sky is showing some blue even.
The snow makes me eat. It's always been that way. It's like I (as well as everybody else) has this built-in urge to get food and plenty of goodies when a storm is approaching. Here in RI it is a state joke that since the Blizzard of '78 people run out for bread and milk when they see the first snowflake fall.
I didn't buy anything special yesterday in fact I just drove by every store with a death grip on my steering wheel, trying to get home in one piece as the snow fell harder and harder. But I managed to find things to eat during the night. There were 3 cartons of ice cream up in the freezer, so I made myself a small cone with the fudge ripple. You can see I hadn't eaten any ice cream for a long time with all that ice cream as well as ice cream sandwiches still up there.
I still have no concentration and can't even settle long enough here to play my games with any enthusiasm. I know I get this way (Seasonal Affective Disorder) every year but even with the extra Abilify it managed to come back to haunt me. So I am working against biology folks, just have to wait it out and try not to get any more down than I am.
On a better note, I see the Weight Loss Surgeon on Wednesday and hopefully he will fill the lap band a little so I can get back on track. I do eat less at one sitting but little bits here and there are the calories that add up. I wish I could feel more enthusiasm for life. I try hard not to burden others with my misery but I imagine here in my own blog I can sit on the pity-pot for a while
Oh yeah and the sun went back in. Figures
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