It is what it is

Today I went to my medical nurse (I have biolar disorder as well as a few other health issues that I take pills for) and basically told her here I was with my lap-band in place, just like I wanted, but today I feel very down about issues around the house. Without getting into the details, let it suffice that because of the economy, I have 5 people living in one small house, with attendant belongings. One is out of work but doing the best that they can. Two face being laid off but can collect. And then there's me, working the weekends, I am disabled and need the few cents for medication and other needs.

Money is a great factor and in this I am not alone. There are some doing better than my situation, and some doing far worse.I want to live somewhere warm. This house is composed of two Qounset huts put together, hardly any insulation and it is freezing in here. The furnace can stay on 70 degrees all day and night and it would still be cold. I think this is what is bothering me the most. That there is no money to do any better, and isn't the American dream to do better? The American dream is DEAD. There's no climbing up, only falling down the ladder of success for all the people I know.

IT IS WHAT IT IS. Remember the Serenity Prayer, "God give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change and the wisdom  to know the difference", something like that. Well I say, IT IS AS IT IS. You must put up with the things you cannot change. If you have tried in every way you know, it's time to accept that and try to improve your life in other ways.

I have done all I can to enable me to improve my health. I have undergone an operation to help me to reduce my weight, and sometimes are better than others when it comes to eating a little more than I should. I am an emotional eater and that is my fight to struggle with.

At present the band around my stomach is loose. There is nothing much stopping the food from going down and that means whatever I throw down there. I am doing pretty good sticking to not drinking 1.2 hour before, during and after meals. But it is so  easy to eat more than they say because I  have no symptoms. I told the doctor I don't even feel the device inside my stomach area.

Meanwhile now I am cold and drinking tea. There is a great pile of dishes to be done, maybe I might feel better when they are washed and put away. The rest of the house, well I can't do much with. I can tidy the stuff but there is no room for a proper place to store it.

Maybe I ought to sit on the pity pot a little longer then get up and carry on. It is what it is