Food troubles

I am disgusted with myself. I vowed today that I would not pick at food I should not eat today after being such a picker yesterday. I did fine up to about 3pm when I saw that stupid left-over, dried out candy that Max didn't use for his gingerbread house in school. Why O why didn't I throw this out yesterday. The candy was awful so why did I eat it?

Of course after that the horse was out of the barn and I would say I ate 1/2 stack of Ritz crackers over the past few hours. I also ate the end of the can of lentil soup I opened for lunch. I have to get a hold on here. I have a device around my stomach that is a "tool" to help me lose weight. But it's just like the wall, a nail and a hammer. If I use the hammer the right way I can bang the nail in the wall and hang a picture up. If I don't make the effort to use the hammer nothing will get done.

That's easy to say. I wish I could tell you that it is all calm sailing but do you know, the same fights I faced with food before the operation are the same ones I am facing now.

I did very well with the protein shakes because all choice is taken out of my hands, I am told to drink this and eat that, all done, weight gets lost. Breakfast is fine. I have coffee, and Cream of Wheat for breakfast. I can also have toast. Nothing stopping me from having egg and toast for breakfast either.

Lunch is problematic in that a strict measure has to be followed. 1 cup of food, no more, with protein as the most important part. Yesterday I had tuna fish mixed with diet Italian salad dressing (instead of mayo) with 6 saltine crackers. That was ok.

On the shakes before the operation I found it very helpful to eat a diet meal that was all measured out, rather than supper food which was neither here nor there for portions. After that, wait an hour, and have some tea or diet drink and later make " ice cream" out of my last shake of the day. (Ice Cream..make shake and freeze, stirring every now and then, takes about a couple of hours.)

OK I have thought this through and tomorrow I will try yet again. I will get a diet meal for supper. That is portioned and calorie controlled and should get me past supper.

I have to learn the portions because when I get my first "fill" after Christmas the band will constrict and cause the stomach opening to be smaller. Then I will be FORCED to eat very little. Wish me luck as  I again try tomorrow to get this done right and keep the scale needle moving downward instead of the other way around